Funny mistakes in newspaper classifieds

These four classified ads appeared in a Gujarati newspaper on four Consecutive days. The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake. MONDAY: *For sale – SK Shah has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 92555-00707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Mani who lives with him cheap.* TUESDAY: *Notice: We regret having erred in SK Shah’s ad yesterday. It should have read – ‘One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 2555-0707 and ask for Mrs. Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.’* WEDNESDAY: *Notice: SK Shah has…

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Always give clear instructions

A Postman was retiring after 35 years of service. The towns people appreciated his work and presented him different gifts. In one house a young lady took him to her bedroom gave him good sex, a good lunch and $5. The Postman was very happy and asked “But why the $5 “? Lady : “Actually yesterday I asked my husband what to present you”? He said “Fuck him, just give him $5 ” “But the lunch was my idea.” MANAGEMENT LESSON : Always give clear instructions .. .. ..

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Sex After Death

Sex After Death, A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact: “Manijeh……..Manijeh” “Is that you, Hoshi?” “Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.” “That’s wonderful! What’s it like?” “Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then…

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ARROGANCE OF Being over 50

ARROGANCE OF Being over 50 ” Yesterday morning I bought two six packs of beer on sale at the Liquor Store. I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home. I stopped at the service station where a drop-dead gorgeous, almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a light top which was wide open. She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window. With her bra-less…

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Hickery dickery dock

A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about enlarging her breasts. He tells her, “Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the tip of your breasts and say, “Scooby dooby doobies. I want bigger boobies.” She did this every day faithfully and after several months, it worked! She grew great boobs! One morning she was running late and she was on the bus when she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point she loved her new boobs and didn’t want to…

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